Goonies never say die.....maybe they should.....

Corey, Corey, Corey.....
I mean, It's not like we wouldn't want to root for you.....Who didn't love the Goonies and the Lost Boys.....you and Corey Haim RAN the 80's. You've shared with us the troubles you had with drugs, abuse by people whom you should've been able to trust....and America loves a good comeback story...but I mean....bro.......just...come on man.....
I barely know where to start....first of all.....in the preliminary interview you said you and Michael Jackson "grew up dancing together".  Michael jackson is was born 13 years before you were, and was doing those moves long before you came along.  You said the concept for the album art was the angels are dragging you out of hell.  I can't help but feel like this performance was basically you dragging us INTO hell.....again, I'm not trying to be mean, but.....
     And then there's the whole "Corey's Angels" thing....First of all, those young ladies are not really playing those instruments. Find some real players.  Or maybe you did....Priveleged info alert. An acquaintance of mine, a young female musician was offered this gig.  She Turned it down.  Apparently, rehearsals where to be around 3 in the morning in sketch-ass downtown L.A.  What's that about?

And the Capstone of the lameness......apparently on the record, Snoop doesa verse on this song. Snoop apparently had the clarity of though to avoid being involved with this giant clusterfuck. So to handle the rap duties, it's none other than Doc Ice of old school hip hop group UTFO.....and at the conclusion of the performance, Corey introduces him as Doc Ice from WHODINI!
.
.
.
.
    So...yeah.....I mean .....


Better luck next time, bro......

Here's a Quarter....

So what piece of pop culture pablum will we try to choke down today? Non other than everyone's favorite Jamoroquai tribute band, MAROON 5! Now...to be honest, I've always dug this band. Douchebaggery notwithstanding, Adam Levine is a fine singer. Harder to breathe, from their 1st major, was a great song; They had a great many on their first several albums. As time wore on thoughthe writing began to seem somewhat lazy, as if they just know what's expected of them so they just do that, like when you go to movie with Samuel L Jackson. Their songs just got lazier and lazier and the pinnacle of that downward spiral? Payphone. I wanted to like Payphone. Wiz Khalifa is from Pittsburgh, like me, so I'm predisposed to root for him. Couldn't do it. Why? No CENTER. Seriously, no four bars of this song seem to have anything to do with the others, from the stretch voweled chorus, to the Akon-esque verse four bars later. Another four bars of that, and then into a cadenc-ey pre-chorus that to me sounds like a yapping dog. Go ahead, listen again and tell me I'm wrong. Go on, do it now, I'll wait........see what I mean? Next up is an alternate chorus; a mid range take on the same melodic concept. Believe it or not, Payphone is almost as boring to listen to as this post is to read. Of course, these are all aesthetic things. Some people like Akon, some people like yapping. The real problem is that as far as I can tell, Payphone is just a collection of disjointed hooks and melodies. It might as well be four guys in four different rooms writing different words to the same track. Generally, bands have the opposite problem: they'll put out a new song that sounds just like the last one. In this case one song sounds like a dozen different songs. Songs about Jane proved in spades that these guys can put out a great album. Payphone is the first single from their new one Overexposed I’ve often said that it must be nice to be Like a U2, or a Bruce Springsteen, or another one of those acts that gets to a point where they could put out more or less anything at all and still have that certainty that their album WILL BE BOUGHT. The unfortunate side effect of this is songs like Payphone. With this song they literally phoned it in.

You're Not Getting What You Pay For

Rejoice Fellow Haters, I have returned! Welcome back to the Locker, thanks for visiting. I have Misssed yooouuuu(spoken as Smith from The Matrix Revolutions) It's been awhile, but don't think it's because I ran out of stuff to hate on. Quite the contrary, I'll be doing a LOT of catching up over the next several weeks. I hope you enjoy the ride. So what is it that has pulled me out of the abyss of blogger limbo(blogger-tory?)? It started one night driving past the Wiltern Theatre in Los Angeles. the Marquee was of course plugging whoever it was that would be there next, but what Caught my attention was the words directly beneath the Headliner's name: VIP EXPERIENCE: $ After the colon was a ridiculous number. Realizing that number represented a dollar amount I actually swerved a little bit(apologies to the biker). So Let me get this straight. You'll pay several hundred dollars more than what is already a REEALLY high ticket price to have a "VIP Experience"? You know what? I can't even call this bullshit. Calling this bullshit is an insult to bullshit. This is beneath bullshit, this is monkey piss. The VIP Experience is a phrase you see a lot more often these days; the actual experience can vary from venue to venue, including but not limited to anything from pre-seating, premier seating, heightened level of service(drinks, hors de oveurs, Lobster, whatever), perhaps a meet-and-greet with the performer before or after the show. Now the idea of backstage passes is nothing new, but the reference to the "VIP Experience" is(relatively). The difference is the focus. Got a backstage pass? You get to meet someone special. You're getting a VIP experience? the focus shifts to YOU. All of a sudden, YOU'RE the special one. Except, um, no you're not. Once again, it's all about you...I've talked before about why this attitude is really lame. Let me hip all you VIP-experience-wanting monkey pissers out there to exactly what you're in for. You'll be shoved into a room down the hall from the stage with several other of your ilk, someone will hand you a half glass of cheap merlot(it'll probably be watered down)and call you sir. Bet that makes you feel special huh? Then Tom Petty(just picked a name out of a hat)will shuffle in, shake your hand, maybe offer a grin and say "thanks for comin'....." Moments later he will leave that room and promptly resume being completely unaware of your existence. Congratulations, you just became Chun Li in this scene: That's right, you just paid what for some people is a month's worth of paycheck, and it had about as much impact on Mick Jagger as the flier some street teamer put on your windshield outside the bar. You have a vague recollection of it, but only as something dealt with for the briefest of moments, then you continue with your actual life. Don't let the watered down two-buck chuck fool you my friend, you are Yanni's windshield flier. Here's what I hope folks will start to realize before they pull out that Black card: Paying for A VIP experience changes your social status as much as paying for the "girlfriend experience" changes your relationship status. YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL. Special very seldom stands on a wallet. Special isn't legigimized by 18 seconds of flesh-pressing with Bruce Springsteen. Special people ain't thinking about Bruce in terms of their special-ness. Sit down, shut up and enjoy the concert. Rid yourself of this pathological need to have everybody fellate-sturbate your ego. Very Important People don't pay to be(or to feel, or to make other people think they are)special. They just are. Important people do important things. Hey, here's an Idea: Want to be a VIP? Do something very important. Find someone to help. Teach someone how to help themselves. Provide a solution for a problem outside of your own little fortress of entitlement. The first step in being important is to stop pretending you are. The second step is to stop trying to convince others that you are. If you are, those who need to know will know. You can't BUY special; you can only BE special.

Jazmine Sullivan Quits, Kim Kardashian is Shit

These two stories appeared on hip-hop wired within the last week:

http://hiphopwired.com/2011/01/03/jazmine-sullivan-announces-retirement-from-music/

http://hiphopwired.com/2011/01/02/kim-kardashian-debuts-braids-new-track-with-the-dream-in-vegas-video/

Seriously, what the hell kinda world are we living in when a bonafide deserving talent like Jazmine Sullivan feels like the music world doesn't have a place for her, but Fame-whoring wannabes like Porn Star Kim Kardashian feels are made to feel right at home? This is total bullshit; would people actually prefer to listen to autotuned club crap that anyone could've sang than listen to someone with an actual musical identity?
Ok I figured out a long time ago that people look for different things in their entertainment choices than they used to. The way I figure, back in the day, you looked at a Frank Sinatra, you looked at a Lena Horne, you WANTED to look up (figuratively, not literally). You wanted to see something iconic, that made you think about important ideas, and dream about bigger things. this was true of most all kinds of entertainment, Music greats like Nat King Cole and Billie Holiday sang about love and life and made you think about why the things they sang and wrote about were important, Comedians like Lenny Bruce and Richard Pryor spoke real truth to power and inspired their fans to be aware and enlightened...but they didn't to it in a smarmy, self-important "irreverent just because" way, like Seth McFarlane. And they certainly didn't just do a bunch of random sputtering like Dane Cook.

These days, when people look at entertainers and make the entertainment choices they make, I'm inclined to believe that their attitude is more...."What most reminds me of ME?" What entertainer can I find that makes me feel the most like I'm ok exactly where I am. What can I find that will make me bob my head, or giggle, but won't shake me out of my complacency? Oh, look, Jersey Shore's on! Those Douchebags like to party just like I do! Awesome!"

Not so awesome. Not much more than an indictment of the fact that se're actually responding to the spoon-feeding. It makes me wonder, could a Marvin Gaye or a Bob Marley even get a record deal? I don't think they could....not vapid enough.