The Hater sees a free movie; gets hated on....

The mood was one of intrigue and mystery. No one in the long line of invited movie-goers knew what to expect. I was ata sneak preview she had been selected to see a week prior. Details were sketchy. All she knew was that this was a movie for people who like action and comedy. It sounded right up my alley, so of course I signed on.
There we were in line. Though we arrived early, the line was pretty long. At some point an event staffer showed us a list of movies from the last 10 years or so asking which we had seen. Still, they wouldn't tell us what we were about to see. It was all very hush hush as the line wound its way around the courtyard, finally ending outside of the theater. That's when I noticed a movie poster for The Green Hornet, and realized that that was the sneak preview we were about to see.
Once we got to our seats I was proven right. We were officially congratulated on being the first audience anywhere to see....THE GREEN HORNET!!! Raucous applause erupted. I looked at my companions with an "I told you so" grin.
In the interest of full disclosure(though It won't come as a surprise to anyone) I've never been into Seth Rogen, the star of the movie. To me, he's a member of a class of movie stars that don't really act per se. They sort of just do a schtick while a camera rolls, never really playing a part, just doing their thing and running with their own personality. You might call it Vince Vaughn-itis.
So I wasn't very excited about this one, even though it was my kind of movie. But hey, can't pass up a free flick, right? And it ended up not being that bad. For a review of the Green Hornet, check out the post directly after this one.
The movie was slightly better than I expected; though by no means Oscar worthy. Most of the folks called it excellent when asked by staffers. When I was asked, I said it was.....good. The staffer was taken aback; she had already queued up her response in anticipation for my saying it was excellent. You could see the effort on her face as she swallowed her ready response and prepared another one. “Alright, well...thanks!” Moments later her boss came, saying “so I hear you said it was good(it was really this deep??!?!?) ?” I've never heard the word good sound more like a death sentence. I reiterated, and she said okay.
We'd been invited to be a part of a focus group after the movie. The woman, who was to be the mediator for the focus group, said “OK, well just hang out for a few and we'll get the focus group started and see if we can bring you around.” Bring me around? What, are you going to show me a different movie? Hypnotize me into forgetting the one I just saw? How do you think you'll be able to bring me around?
The focus group was a cross section of all of the people who fall into the demographic chosen to see the movie. I was one of 3 African Americans, there were a number of teens and young adults. Most were very happy with the movie, some more than others, but none said that they would not go see it. Everyone agreed that the best part of the movie was Jay Chou(whom apparently is a megastar in the far east), has a great future in U.S. film if he so chooses.
Through the many questions asked and the myriad of opinions about the movies, the one thing that everyone agreed on was that it would be a TERRIBLE idea for this movie to be in 3-D. An audible groan rose up when this question was put to the focus group. Cries of “Nooo!” and “What for?” resounded through the theater. The Mediator was taken aback by this response; “Don't you think it would be awesome to see all the fight scenes in 3-D?”
“Forget that, the movie doesn't need it!”
“Too many movies are in 3-D for no reason”
“I wouldn't want to pay extra to see it.”
At this point a voice from several rows back thanked us for our time and attention, and gestured to a man at the very back at the theater. “I'd like to introduce you to the writer, producer, and star of the Green Hornet, Seth Rogen!”
Surprised applause rose up from the audience as he made his way down from the upper deck. They said he'd slimmed down quite a bit to play the Green Hornet, and he looked skinnier in person than he did onscreen. What happened next might just go down as the first great moment in Hater history.
“Thanks everybody for coming, I'm really glad you came out,” he said as he approached the row of seats we occupied. Then he looked straight at me. “except YOU!”
Whoa...did I just get clowned by a celebrity? Did that actually happen? The entire focus group burst out in laughter. Someone must have told him I only thought his movie was good. I guess his ego couldn't handle anything less than sycophantic admiration. The look on his face told me that he was (mostly) kidding, and I can get the comedic value of it. We shook hands as I left and I told him “Hey, I liked it more than I thought I would anyway!” To which he replied “Well, I liked you more than I thought I would!” Fair enough.

What I Hate about You: the Green Hornet (SNEAK PREVIEW)

The Buzz(no pun intended) on this film has been interesting since the first trailers debuted several months ago. Until recently, it hasn't been hyped up as much as most films in this genre, and I've heard more than one or two people react with incredulity upon hearing that the main creative force in this endeavor was Seth Rogen, of Knocked Up and SuperBad fame. He not only stars in the Green Hornet, but also wrote and produced it.
My opinion on Seth Rogen being what it was(see previous post), I was not optomistic about this movie. And though at the end of the day, I can't say I didn't enjoy this movie at all, Seth Rogen did nothing to disprove my opinion of him.
The film spins a typical origin yarn: a nowhere near developed enough exposition episode introduces us to Britt Reid(Rogen), is the spoiled sole heir to the Reid newspaper empire, though he's more concerned with partying than with, well, anything really. He is shocked out his complacency by the combination of the death of his father, and meeting Kato, an employee of his father whose penchant for mechanical wizardry is only matched by his affinity for kung fu awesomeness.
After deciding that it's his destiny to become a hero after seeing Kato fight off a group of thugs, Brit commisions Kato to build a car dubbed Black Beauty, replete with all the requisite accoutrements for urban crimebusting, and our heroes are off, with the twist that they play the part of villains.
The main antagonist is a russian crimelord, Chudnovsky(whom is saddled with a silly and pointless subplot regarding how innapropriate his name is for a criminal) whom is concerned that the Hornet may be trying to horn(et) in on his action. After all the players are in place, more or less typical hijinx ensue. Eventually, Britt finds out that his father was actually the victim of foul play, not of a bee sting as was initially reported. At this point, I had a brief flash of hope. In most films this would be the great revelation serving as the impetus that makes the hero get serious about fighting the good fight(this is done particularly well in the 2002 "extreme" spy movie XXX). Alas it was not to be. The revelation is immediately followed by a dumb joke about sushi, and the opportunity to actually go somewhere is lost, forced to demure to make room for Rogen's antics.
Honestly The Green Hornet wasn't that bad. Decent Special effects and well done action sequenses all seemed worth the time. Extra kudos go to Jay Chou, whose deadpan delivery and damn near perfect comic timing made him the perfect Martin to Seth Rogen's Lewis. But therein lay the problem. There was Seth Rogen, doing the Seth Rogen thing; embodied by a seemingly endless string of goofball quips and rejoinders while things happen around him. Observe the photo at the head of this post. That's pretty much a perfect representation of how these two characters come off in the movie. Kato doing the heavy lifting, The Green Hornet standing there, being Seth Rogen.
It's unfortunate that the ostensible star of the movie proved to be such a distraction from the things that made the movie good, especially considering he wrote it. This is the unfortunate side effect of when someone gets their head gassed up on their own fame. It becomes about them, and not about the story. You can get away with this in a movie like The 40 Year Old Virgin, which was more character driven than story driven or a Knocked Up, where the whole point is "how is dude going to respond to this?". With a long established property like Green Hornet, it's GOT TO BE about the story or it just won't work, particularly with a character that's primarily existed for the last several decades as a comic book entity. Fanboys(a euphemism for comic fans)are notoriously unforgiving when the history and traditions of these characters are not honored. Don't believe me? Ask Ben Affleck or Ang Lee.
In The Green Hornet, the canon took a back seat to Seth Rogen's one-liners. There was no character development for the hornet at all, which is a shame because there was a lot of potential to do so. You got some of the traditional hallmarks of great Superhero storytelling(motivated to the cause of justice due to great tragedy), with a few fun twists(G.H. pretends to be a villain, that's his cover), and just enough WTF randomness to keep you on your toes. Unfortunately the star of the movie missed a great opportunity to build a franchise because he was just too distracted by his own silliness.

Does anyone else hear that spinning sound coming from the direction Forest Lawn off the 134?

Poor Little stupid-ass T-Pain....
It took me so long to get to the point where I found you barely tolerable. I even found myself digging "Buy you a Drank". I figured "okay, he's found himself a little lane for himself with the auto-tune bit. Whatever; he's not so bad.
And then this sludge.....Good Lord man, how could you commit such an act of treason! There are some things you just don't mess with.
P.Y.T. is one of those perfect pop gems that balanced an undeniable groove with an edgy sense of urgency. Michael's vocal is damn near perfect in how it pushed the song forward, thematically and aesthetically. At first, light and playful....a little more urgent at the pre-chorus...and then when the chorus kicks in, Holy Crap, when did Michael Jackson turn into Teddy Pendergrass? This was a damn near perfect song. And now here comes this fool....
First of all, he made the song SOFT!!! Michael always had a reputation as a pretty sensitive guy, but PYT always served as an example that as an artist, he could do agressive and be very convincing. T-pain's synthed-out instrumental might as well be smooth jazz. In addition, the whole point of the song was that a guy sees a girl that he has to have, so he's willing to give her "all that I've got". The changes that T.P. makes in the lyrics totally spit in the face of this idea and make the song all about him. "Where did you Come from baby", becomes "You know where I come from Shawty"....."Now is the perfect time, we can make it right in the city lights" becomes "Jump in my ride...we can drink all night till they close the club". T-Pain probably figured the rewrite gave the lyric a "modern swag". In truth, the changes dumb the song down and reflect the arrogance of today's "artists". Robin Thicke tries to make the save in verse two, and there are a few other ringers brought in to give the song some extra weight, but by this time the damage has been irreversably done.
And then this dumbass has the nerve to come out and release a statement addressing the negative feedback, which started thusly: "For all the ppl that hate mr(sic) for ruining pyt just stop listening to my shit." That's the point you ASS; it's NOT YOUR SHIT!!! It's Michael's! And it was a great song!! Admittedly, you Turned it into shit, but please understand that the fact that it's not your shit is the very reason people are upset.
I'm so glad it's not just me. Websites hither and yon have lambasted this embarrasment. The people know the truth. The truth is, based on what T-Pain did to this song, he should quit music and become a butcher.
Here's the original to wash out the taste of that awfulness.

I'm Going to use a word I have yet to use thus far on this blog.

Chicago rapper Common once said something along the lines of "I used to Love her". I know how he feels. I grew up listening to hip hop and rap music, and I loved it. In my heart I suppose I still do. It was some of the awesome hip-hop concerts I went to growing up that made me love music. I remember the cold of the night air outside the(gone but not forgotten)civic arena back in Pittsburgh, waiting to get in to see Kid n Play, Heavy D, and BBD(not a rap group so much, but they had the swag of one). I remember the damn near unbearable heat in the basement of the(also gone but not forgotten) syria mosque the night my brother Kenny and I went to see Kool G Rap & D.J. Polo, Kid Capri, The Genius, Biz Markie, and Masta Ace. Nights like that are the reason that I grew to love hip-hop in particular and music in general.
I wonder if fans today have the same feelings aabout the music they listen to. That rush of hearing and seeing voices face to face that only weeks days or hours before had only been electrical signals coming out of a pair of speakers in your room. I hope so. I really do.
I still have that nostalgic love for hip-hop, and every once in awhile I still feel that same feeling, when I randomly hear a song from Redman's Dare iz A Darkside, or Scarface's The World is Yours. I don't know if fans today feel the same way because it all seems so processed and packaged and.....typical. I don't remember the last time I heard a rap artist that made me think to myself, "this is something that was missing from the landscape. This was needed!" Does anyone ever feel that anymore?
In the early nineties, Chuck D of Public Enemy was quoted as saying that Rap is CNN for Black People. I understood what he was trying to say, but I always felt he was only partially correct. More accurately rap was a whole cable package. Public Enemy was definitely CNN. But Digital Underground was Comedy Central. DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince was Nickelodeon. N.W.A. was HBO. that was the golden age though, and it lasted for a big chunk of the 90's but then a huge shift happened at some point in the late 90's and lasted for quite awhile. At that point,everything, EVERYTHING was gangster rap. You had some holdouts; the Roots managed to stay pretty viable no matter what, and there were a few others, but for the most part, everything was g-thing this pop-a-cap-in-that ass that, as if all of a sudden every channel was playing Scarface on a neverending loop. That persisted a long time, and then after awhile, some channels started showing a live feed from in a club, where everyone was poppin' a bottle or shakin' that ass on the dance floor. As I've said before, this isn't necessarily the fault of the artists. If you can't get a deal making music that doesn't sound a certain way, I can see that it would be tempting to make music that sounds that certain way. Of course the question is once again, is it the fault of the public for only supporting one kind of artist, or is it the label's fault for only giving one kind of artist to the public? Once again, here come the vultures of Culture mentioned in my very first blog post, circling around the pathology.
Now, hip hop seems to have recovered a BIT of diversity. You got Kanye and Will.I.Am, B.O.B, and a few others who are expanding the sonic palate. But even new more outside the box rap artists seem somewhat contrived and insincere(Yes Nicki, I'm talking to you). I'm wondering if this art form will ever get back to a place of both diversity and purtiy. I doubt it.
I'm not even saying that there's no place for aggressive or angry hip hop, or for partying "bottle poppin'" Hip hop. It just always feels so unbalanced. There was a time when you could flip the channel and get a different feel or flavor. Personally, I'm at a point now where I usually don't even turn the TV on anymore.

Dana White is an Arsonist

This post was inspired by a facebook conversation I had yesterday. Last night at the Honda Center in Anaheim, Ca. College Wrestling Champ, Former WWE Superstar, College Wrestling Champion and one(short) time Minnesota Viking and now UFC fighter Brock Lesnar defended his UFC Championship against challenger Cain Velasquez. The Challenger won decisively in a suprising upset first round KO. The fight was enjoyable to watch because like most americans I love to see the triumph of the underdog. But you know what the fight taught me? That UFC president Dana White is an asshole. That dude has earned himself a permanent spot on my fecal roster and here's why.
In pretty much all of the promotional media for this fight, much was made of Velasquez' ethnicity; of the fact that "Througout fighting history, there has never been a Mexican champion". In the little pre-fight special, there was a segment showing Velasquez enjoying a burrito, proclaiming "This is the food I grew up on!" And of course after his victory one of his first quotes was "Todos Latinos, hey we did it!"......and with the exception of the words "todos latinos" he spoke in perfectly articulated totally unaccented english. and this is my point.
This kid was raised in Salinas California, and Went to college in Arizona and Iowa. His parents were immigrants, but he was born HERE. He grew up, got his education, and sought his fortune HERE, as an American Citizen! He is no less American than me, or Brock Lesnar or Pat Boone. Wow, he eats burritos, that makes him about as Mexican as most of california(wait a minute, lol...). Guess what? If there's never been a Mexican Champion, There still hasn't been one. There probably will be one eventually, but Cain Velasquez isn't him. There's a Mexican-American Champion, and his name is Cain.
I'd like to think that we're a little better of a people than being suseptible to buying into this "great white hope" crap being foisted upon us again. I blame Dana White. This fight was going to be a great fight, and could've been marketed in any way. I guess it was just easier go for "the cheap pop"; say the obvious thing to get a reaction. Here's the thing though. Doing this with race, what with all the societal issues and sensitivities we have, and doing it simply to make a buck, is terribly irresponsible and immature. "Hmmm, less people pre-ordering the pay-per view. Of course, why would they? Everyone knows Lesnar's going to win. How can I get more people to give me their money? Hey let's create unnecessary racial acrimony for profit!" Lame.
Turning people against each other to benefit yourself is some 4th grade playground bullshit, and Dana White should be ashamed of himself. We are long past the point in time where we can afford this kind of racial arson. It has no place in our society (with the obvious exception of politics; gotta love election season!).
Now you might say, "but hey, that's who Velasquez is! He Himself makes a big deal out of his Mexican heritage!" So what? Granted, that's his place to do so. But we all know that's not the reason Dana White Built the hype for this fight around his Latino roots, Despite the the tattoo the new Champion wears on his chest, the marketing of this fight wasn't about fostering Brown Pride, it was about Green Greed.

What I Hate about you: Phill Collins, Going Back

Genesis founder, drummer, and vocalist Phil Collins is an extremely capable and accomplished musician. He's got a enviable discography with many more hits than misses. He's done movie soundtracks, he's won most of the awards available to win, has fans in every corner or the world, not to mention the respect of his peers. He has sold over two hundred million albums in a career that stretches all the way back to the 1970's.

The Motown Songbook is one of the few things in music that can be considered a sure thing. We're talking hit upon hit upon hit. Songwriters like Holland/Dozier/Holland, Smokey Robinson, Stevie Wonder, not to mention Berry Gordy himself, crafted what was called "The Sound of Young America", permanently blurring the lines between urban and mainstream music and creating a footprint we're all still standing in the shadows of. It's a safe assumption that Phil Collins recording a collection of Motown covers is a sure bet for a good listen, right?

...famous last words.....

"Going Back" is a very good idea, very badly executed. It's not that the songs sound bad; Phil is a skilled vocalist, possesing a fine baritone capable of expressing equal parts fun, passion, sincerity, or aggression. Instrumentally, Going Back cannot be faulted either; he got three of the original Funk Brothers to play on it. So what's the problem? Strangely enough, the songs themselves.

As I stated before, this is Motown, so none of the songs could truly be described as bad per se'. There were however two major mistakes.The first one: If you're into football you'd think of it this way....No one starts Charlie Batch if Roethlisberger is available. No one would call Hans Zimmer if they have John Williams on Speed Dial.If you Got tickets for Jessye Norman, you're not thinking about Charlotte Church. But that's what Going Back feels like...there are some decent songs like Heatwave, Standing in the Shadows, or Jimmy Mack, but most of the songs in this collection seem like second string material. Seriously, who does Going to a Go-Go instead of Tears of A Clown? As a Motown fan, I wanna hear songs from the A-list, not a bunch of filler. My theory is that Mr. Collins knew he'd be clowned royally if he screws up Motown, so he chose lesser material to avoid comparisons to the great original performances of, say, My Girl, or Signed, Sealed, Delivered. But in choosing a safer path he ended up with a second rate album of second rate material, and it's a real shame.
The Second Problem:, Collins said the idea behind the album was "not to bring anything ‘new’ to these already great records, but to try to recreate the sounds and feelings that I had when I first heard them. My intention was to make an ‘old’ record, not a ‘new’ record." Ummmm, so why would a listener not just buy the original record? Furthermore, that concept really clashes with the song choices. If you're trying to recreate the Motown mood and make people feel what they felt, You have to choose the songs that made people feel those feelings! A great artist like Phil Collins should be thinking a little more progressively than just basically creating a bunch of karaoke tracks in the first place, but if that's what you're going to do, do the songs people are going to sing along to!

In comparison, look at Michael McDonald's Motown album. He seems to have said "This is classic material that everybody loves, but Dammit, I'm gonna have the guts to take on these songs, BECAUSE it's the classic material that everybody loves!" And on top of that, he added a little more to the sonic palate of the tunes, without losing the original flavor. That's a tough balancing act that he pulls of admirably. Even Human Nature, the Australian boy band, had the guts to tackle the major material. if they can make it work, I have trouble believing that Phil Collins can't.
It's good music, performed by a great musician, so I don't want to call it a swing and a miss, but I can't help but wish that he'd done more of the songs that people think of first when they think of motown, and/or have done more WITH the songs. To quote a line from one of those better motown hits, Phil, "why don't you be a man about it?"

I hate it when people say what I mean better than I do...

But that's exactly what happened. Adrien Grenier, the actor best known for his work on the HBO show Entourage has released a documentary called Teenage Paparazzi. It focuses on a 13 year old kid named Austin who makes his lunch money by running around Hollywood trying to get shots of celebrities with other paparazzi photographers. Now, the kid is the focus of the documentary, but in studying the kid and his peers, the filmmakers do a great job of studying the conditions that created this particular pop culture pathology. Many of the things they address herein are some of the very things that inspire my hate and that I hope to address in this here blog. Bastards, beat me to it! Just kidding. Anyway, I found it fascinating. It's on HBO, I don't know when, but they generally have a habit of driving programming into the ground. Check it out when you get a chance. Here's a url to the trailer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwM5mjGX1yM