The Hater sees a free movie; gets hated on....

The mood was one of intrigue and mystery. No one in the long line of invited movie-goers knew what to expect. I was ata sneak preview she had been selected to see a week prior. Details were sketchy. All she knew was that this was a movie for people who like action and comedy. It sounded right up my alley, so of course I signed on.
There we were in line. Though we arrived early, the line was pretty long. At some point an event staffer showed us a list of movies from the last 10 years or so asking which we had seen. Still, they wouldn't tell us what we were about to see. It was all very hush hush as the line wound its way around the courtyard, finally ending outside of the theater. That's when I noticed a movie poster for The Green Hornet, and realized that that was the sneak preview we were about to see.
Once we got to our seats I was proven right. We were officially congratulated on being the first audience anywhere to see....THE GREEN HORNET!!! Raucous applause erupted. I looked at my companions with an "I told you so" grin.
In the interest of full disclosure(though It won't come as a surprise to anyone) I've never been into Seth Rogen, the star of the movie. To me, he's a member of a class of movie stars that don't really act per se. They sort of just do a schtick while a camera rolls, never really playing a part, just doing their thing and running with their own personality. You might call it Vince Vaughn-itis.
So I wasn't very excited about this one, even though it was my kind of movie. But hey, can't pass up a free flick, right? And it ended up not being that bad. For a review of the Green Hornet, check out the post directly after this one.
The movie was slightly better than I expected; though by no means Oscar worthy. Most of the folks called it excellent when asked by staffers. When I was asked, I said it was.....good. The staffer was taken aback; she had already queued up her response in anticipation for my saying it was excellent. You could see the effort on her face as she swallowed her ready response and prepared another one. “Alright, well...thanks!” Moments later her boss came, saying “so I hear you said it was good(it was really this deep??!?!?) ?” I've never heard the word good sound more like a death sentence. I reiterated, and she said okay.
We'd been invited to be a part of a focus group after the movie. The woman, who was to be the mediator for the focus group, said “OK, well just hang out for a few and we'll get the focus group started and see if we can bring you around.” Bring me around? What, are you going to show me a different movie? Hypnotize me into forgetting the one I just saw? How do you think you'll be able to bring me around?
The focus group was a cross section of all of the people who fall into the demographic chosen to see the movie. I was one of 3 African Americans, there were a number of teens and young adults. Most were very happy with the movie, some more than others, but none said that they would not go see it. Everyone agreed that the best part of the movie was Jay Chou(whom apparently is a megastar in the far east), has a great future in U.S. film if he so chooses.
Through the many questions asked and the myriad of opinions about the movies, the one thing that everyone agreed on was that it would be a TERRIBLE idea for this movie to be in 3-D. An audible groan rose up when this question was put to the focus group. Cries of “Nooo!” and “What for?” resounded through the theater. The Mediator was taken aback by this response; “Don't you think it would be awesome to see all the fight scenes in 3-D?”
“Forget that, the movie doesn't need it!”
“Too many movies are in 3-D for no reason”
“I wouldn't want to pay extra to see it.”
At this point a voice from several rows back thanked us for our time and attention, and gestured to a man at the very back at the theater. “I'd like to introduce you to the writer, producer, and star of the Green Hornet, Seth Rogen!”
Surprised applause rose up from the audience as he made his way down from the upper deck. They said he'd slimmed down quite a bit to play the Green Hornet, and he looked skinnier in person than he did onscreen. What happened next might just go down as the first great moment in Hater history.
“Thanks everybody for coming, I'm really glad you came out,” he said as he approached the row of seats we occupied. Then he looked straight at me. “except YOU!”
Whoa...did I just get clowned by a celebrity? Did that actually happen? The entire focus group burst out in laughter. Someone must have told him I only thought his movie was good. I guess his ego couldn't handle anything less than sycophantic admiration. The look on his face told me that he was (mostly) kidding, and I can get the comedic value of it. We shook hands as I left and I told him “Hey, I liked it more than I thought I would anyway!” To which he replied “Well, I liked you more than I thought I would!” Fair enough.

What I Hate about You: the Green Hornet (SNEAK PREVIEW)

The Buzz(no pun intended) on this film has been interesting since the first trailers debuted several months ago. Until recently, it hasn't been hyped up as much as most films in this genre, and I've heard more than one or two people react with incredulity upon hearing that the main creative force in this endeavor was Seth Rogen, of Knocked Up and SuperBad fame. He not only stars in the Green Hornet, but also wrote and produced it.
My opinion on Seth Rogen being what it was(see previous post), I was not optomistic about this movie. And though at the end of the day, I can't say I didn't enjoy this movie at all, Seth Rogen did nothing to disprove my opinion of him.
The film spins a typical origin yarn: a nowhere near developed enough exposition episode introduces us to Britt Reid(Rogen), is the spoiled sole heir to the Reid newspaper empire, though he's more concerned with partying than with, well, anything really. He is shocked out his complacency by the combination of the death of his father, and meeting Kato, an employee of his father whose penchant for mechanical wizardry is only matched by his affinity for kung fu awesomeness.
After deciding that it's his destiny to become a hero after seeing Kato fight off a group of thugs, Brit commisions Kato to build a car dubbed Black Beauty, replete with all the requisite accoutrements for urban crimebusting, and our heroes are off, with the twist that they play the part of villains.
The main antagonist is a russian crimelord, Chudnovsky(whom is saddled with a silly and pointless subplot regarding how innapropriate his name is for a criminal) whom is concerned that the Hornet may be trying to horn(et) in on his action. After all the players are in place, more or less typical hijinx ensue. Eventually, Britt finds out that his father was actually the victim of foul play, not of a bee sting as was initially reported. At this point, I had a brief flash of hope. In most films this would be the great revelation serving as the impetus that makes the hero get serious about fighting the good fight(this is done particularly well in the 2002 "extreme" spy movie XXX). Alas it was not to be. The revelation is immediately followed by a dumb joke about sushi, and the opportunity to actually go somewhere is lost, forced to demure to make room for Rogen's antics.
Honestly The Green Hornet wasn't that bad. Decent Special effects and well done action sequenses all seemed worth the time. Extra kudos go to Jay Chou, whose deadpan delivery and damn near perfect comic timing made him the perfect Martin to Seth Rogen's Lewis. But therein lay the problem. There was Seth Rogen, doing the Seth Rogen thing; embodied by a seemingly endless string of goofball quips and rejoinders while things happen around him. Observe the photo at the head of this post. That's pretty much a perfect representation of how these two characters come off in the movie. Kato doing the heavy lifting, The Green Hornet standing there, being Seth Rogen.
It's unfortunate that the ostensible star of the movie proved to be such a distraction from the things that made the movie good, especially considering he wrote it. This is the unfortunate side effect of when someone gets their head gassed up on their own fame. It becomes about them, and not about the story. You can get away with this in a movie like The 40 Year Old Virgin, which was more character driven than story driven or a Knocked Up, where the whole point is "how is dude going to respond to this?". With a long established property like Green Hornet, it's GOT TO BE about the story or it just won't work, particularly with a character that's primarily existed for the last several decades as a comic book entity. Fanboys(a euphemism for comic fans)are notoriously unforgiving when the history and traditions of these characters are not honored. Don't believe me? Ask Ben Affleck or Ang Lee.
In The Green Hornet, the canon took a back seat to Seth Rogen's one-liners. There was no character development for the hornet at all, which is a shame because there was a lot of potential to do so. You got some of the traditional hallmarks of great Superhero storytelling(motivated to the cause of justice due to great tragedy), with a few fun twists(G.H. pretends to be a villain, that's his cover), and just enough WTF randomness to keep you on your toes. Unfortunately the star of the movie missed a great opportunity to build a franchise because he was just too distracted by his own silliness.

Does anyone else hear that spinning sound coming from the direction Forest Lawn off the 134?

Poor Little stupid-ass T-Pain....
It took me so long to get to the point where I found you barely tolerable. I even found myself digging "Buy you a Drank". I figured "okay, he's found himself a little lane for himself with the auto-tune bit. Whatever; he's not so bad.
And then this sludge.....Good Lord man, how could you commit such an act of treason! There are some things you just don't mess with.
P.Y.T. is one of those perfect pop gems that balanced an undeniable groove with an edgy sense of urgency. Michael's vocal is damn near perfect in how it pushed the song forward, thematically and aesthetically. At first, light and playful....a little more urgent at the pre-chorus...and then when the chorus kicks in, Holy Crap, when did Michael Jackson turn into Teddy Pendergrass? This was a damn near perfect song. And now here comes this fool....
First of all, he made the song SOFT!!! Michael always had a reputation as a pretty sensitive guy, but PYT always served as an example that as an artist, he could do agressive and be very convincing. T-pain's synthed-out instrumental might as well be smooth jazz. In addition, the whole point of the song was that a guy sees a girl that he has to have, so he's willing to give her "all that I've got". The changes that T.P. makes in the lyrics totally spit in the face of this idea and make the song all about him. "Where did you Come from baby", becomes "You know where I come from Shawty"....."Now is the perfect time, we can make it right in the city lights" becomes "Jump in my ride...we can drink all night till they close the club". T-Pain probably figured the rewrite gave the lyric a "modern swag". In truth, the changes dumb the song down and reflect the arrogance of today's "artists". Robin Thicke tries to make the save in verse two, and there are a few other ringers brought in to give the song some extra weight, but by this time the damage has been irreversably done.
And then this dumbass has the nerve to come out and release a statement addressing the negative feedback, which started thusly: "For all the ppl that hate mr(sic) for ruining pyt just stop listening to my shit." That's the point you ASS; it's NOT YOUR SHIT!!! It's Michael's! And it was a great song!! Admittedly, you Turned it into shit, but please understand that the fact that it's not your shit is the very reason people are upset.
I'm so glad it's not just me. Websites hither and yon have lambasted this embarrasment. The people know the truth. The truth is, based on what T-Pain did to this song, he should quit music and become a butcher.
Here's the original to wash out the taste of that awfulness.