Monday, September 27, 2010

Katy Perry Pretty Much Sucks Live

So Katy Perry performed on Saturday Night Live the other day.





Wow....much more than just a modicum of mediocrity. So much here to hate and barely enough time to deal with it all. First of all, the whole thing is chronically out of tune. And speaking of chonic, at :30...yeah, um...you know how when someone does somehing they really don't want to do, but they feel like they have to, in order to seem cool? Of course, Katy Perry's whole performance persona is just one great big capitulation to pop-culture peer pressure. Remember, she used to be much more Taylor Swift than Betty Page/Madonna. But then she decided she wanted to get paid. She went from singing about Jesus to singing about "melting popcicles".....but I digress.
I could continue about her being out of tune, and I've mentioned before how unoriginal the song is, but I can save time by looking at the big picture. Overall what we have here is a girl who realized "I can sell more records if I do and say sexy things". The problem is, this is a girl for whom "sexy" does not come naturally. When she performed on the Grammy awards awhile back and she seemed frumpish and awkward, ambling around the stage in a sort-of gawky, flat-footed lope as if she had no idea what to do with herself. Later, someone told her "hey check it out Katy, this is what sexy people do." Since then, pretty much everything she's put out has been geared towards cultivating an image of the neo-pinup, Betty Page-style sexpot. The music is simply secondary to mantaining the illusion. The problem is, as soon as she starts moving, the illusion falls apart. It's just not who she is. More than anything else, she comes off like Steve Carrel's character from The 40 Year old Virgin, in the scene where he tries to convince his new buddies that he's not a virgin. Every movement, instead of telegraphing her intended message, telegraphs the message: "Look, I'm doing what sexy people do! Isn't that sexy?"
.....anybody care for a bag of sand?

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Okay, Let's start with just a few obseravtions....Lady Gaga has yet to do one original thing, and I defy anyone to name it....the "meat on our bones" justification she gave for that stupid outfit at the VMA's a few weeks ago made about as much sense as an ass-umbrella. Lil' Wayne is an over-rated clown, and I seriously can't believe that anyone could have the stones to call him the "greatest rapper alive" in the same world where Talib Kweli KRS-1 or Freddie Foxx exist. Taylor Swift should be on her knees thanking Kanye West every day......let's see, what else? Oh Yeah, the supposed kick-ass "song of the summer", Katy Perry's California Gurls is just that stupid Kesha song thrown in the microwave...seriously...it's the exact same song. That'll do for now. did I forget anything?

Monday, September 20, 2010

Welcome to the Hate Locker!

Welcome, fellow haters, to your new home. for So long we haters have been marginalized, disenfranchised, and held down....Well I say NO MORE!! WELCOME TO THE HATE LOCKER!

Allow me to elaborate....I am a music lover and a student of the creative arts...I love creative people and the arts and the process of making art. But more and more lately I realized that when I found myself talking about it....I was more talking about those artists, musicians and performers that I COULD NOT STAND!! I spent more time talking about stuff that I hated than about stuff that I really liked. After realizing this, I started wondering what is wrong with me? Am I just that much of a hater? and then I realized it...That's not it...I'm not a hater....or at least not an intentional hater. It's not like I want to talk more about this all those wack, fake, overrated, undertalented jokers out there....but that's ALL we see in the media! I would love to talk more about artists I like, Like Donnie, or Esperanza Spalding, or Jane Child, but they're not given the shine they deserve in the popular media, so nobody knows who the hell they are! Viacom would rather tell us that Little Wayne is the greatest rapper alive. They'd rather tell us that Mark Broussard is just too unconventional to be worth the same attention of as "cultural icon" P. Diddy the majority of americans....this is my point...the hate Locker is actually motivated by LOVE, not hate!

So why do I feel strongly enough about it to start a blog? Awhile back there was a certain news story about a certain someone who, as is all too common right now, was developing an extremely high pop-culture profile, for completely the wrong reasons. This person was going home from wherever they were at, and as she pulled into her driveway, a ridiculous phalanx of media rushed her car. Clicking cameras, camcorders, microphones....they rushed the car like ants on a carcass. It didn't look like a group of people; it looked like a dark malevolent cloud. This person had done something somewhat unique, admittedly, but all this? Really?....so I started asking myself who should I be bothered by in this situation? The person? The people who had enabled her to do the thing she had done to get famous? The media for deciding she was worth all this attention? all were equally culpable for this melee....the person cause she knows the media will cover it...the media cause they know they'll get the money from the people waching if they cover it....the people for watching when they know it's bullshit that's not really worthy of their time. They all just circle around the pathology. Like buzzards circling around and feeding off poison meat. they keep eating it because it tastes so good, and as they consume the meat...the meat consumes them.

The more we partake the shiny culture of greek god celebrities, music that gets simpler and simpler, reality stars that are lame templates of cliche stereotypes in a staged fake-life that studios try to pass off as real..the more damage we do to ourselves collectively. These are the worst examples of who we are as a society and what we've given to the world. Our culture is what makes us more than animal and it's supposed to mean more than just something to look at to distract us from our day to day lives. It's supposed to be entertaining, sure. But it's also supposed to enlighten, educate, and uplift. Enlightenment and uplift aren't supposed to go out of style; and anyone trying to tell you or SELL you otherwise is trying to take advantage of you. And you know what? I hate that. I truly, truly hate that. and that's why this blog exists. To shine a light on and proclaim our hate for the lame, the untalented, the overrated and underworthy....both the Lookie-loos and the Look-at-Me-loos...the fame-whoring, obnoxious losers who work so hard to convince us to love what makes them the most money and makes us the most stupid. I hate them and all the weapons they use...weapons like Auto-tune. "the club". Video girls. Sometimes their own children. And the most insipid weapon of all, the disgusting concept of lifestyle branding.

So check me out on the regular and let me know how you feel, what you hate, what you love and why. Me and my collaborators on this blog will be very interested in your opinions and we hope you enjoy the read!